Tuesday, February 5, 2013

Friendships Don't Just Happen

Have I ever told you how much I wanna be a friendship expert someday? {grin}

No, really.  I always have.  {Maybe I should go into counseling?}

Ever since I was a little girl, I have been intrigued with the subject of friendship, how it works, with whom it works, and why.

I love watching people interact and become friends.  I also love to be part of the friendship making process.

In fact I've always been kind of obsessed with making friends, mostly because it's so much fun to break down walls and get someone else to learn to trust you.

Sometimes friendships work effortlessly, sometimes they are hard work.  I seem to err on the side of hard work, but I've always been willing to do it for the fun result of having a good friend when I'm done.

Yes, I've had lots of friendships work, but I've also had a lot of friendships fizzle out or fade away as time slipped by.  I've tried to tell myself it was ok, but really deep down inside it wasn't.

And eventually, with the friendships that have gone away, I've always found myself trying to patch them up and get the spark going again.  Trying REALLY hard.

Because no matter what, I still feel that I am somehow responsible for whether friendship works or not.

In all of my years of exploring friendship, I have never run across someone else who thought as much like I do about friendships as Shasta Nelson, the author of Girlfriend Circles Blog a website focusing on friendships and connecting with other women.

And imagine my excitement when she has finally written all of her thoughts down in a book called Friendships Don't Just Happen.  LOVE LOVE and LOVE that book to pieces.  And I haven't even read it all yet!

Friendships don't just happen.  I believe that with all of my heart.  I believe they are the result of lots of planning, hard work, and forgiving.

They are the result of two people that decide to be there for each other no matter what happens in life.

No matter if life is good or bad.  Kinda like people who are married.  Only not.

Friendships are a choice.  A fun but committed choice.

And a choice I'm willing to make.

Now some people view friendship entirely different than I do.  They think that if a friendship doesn't just happen on its own, it's just not meant to be.

That if you have to work AT ALL, it's not worth it.  Hmmm.

Two very different views about a very significant topic.

Friendship, does it just happen or does it take a lot of planning and hard work?

Tell me, what is YOUR view of friendship?  Do you think friendships just happen?  Do you believe that you shouldn't have to work to build a friendship, it should just feel right from the start?

I would love to hear your views.  And it's totally ok if you disagree with me.  I like to hear all viewpoints even if they are different from my own.

{And, just so you know, Shasta didn't tell me to write this post.  I just think her book is way worth mentioning as its one of my very favorite books already.}

AND....drumroll, if you actually made it to this part of the post, I am offering to send one of you a copy of her book since I happen to have an extra one.  All you have to do is leave a comment saying you would like it, and I will randomly pick a winner from the list.

Cheers to friendship and hope you take the time to meet one new friend this month!  It's always worth your time and effort.


Annie, Morning Joy Farm said...

I would love to have a copy!
Thanks Sara!

Michelle Paige said...

I'd love a copy of the book!
Most friendships (in my life) take a bit of work.

Katrina Mick said...

Have you ever thought that people were Heaven sent? Well, I stumbled onto your site today and I read your post about friendship and how they have to be worked at. I totally believe that!! I recently ( 6 months ago) got into a huge fight with my best friend of over 20+ years over the stupidest thing. She said I never talk to her anymore. I am the point in my life where I work 3 jobs, go to school full time and have 4 kids. I have no time to do anything let alone talk for hours with my friends. I would call her at least once a month, but it wasn't enough. Needless to say we both siad words that I regret were said. I am tempted to call her and see if things have cooled off enough, but I would love to read this book first. Thanks for listening!!

Little Ladybird said...

Hi Sara, Love this post! In my twenties friendships just seemed to happen, but now in my thirties, being busy with life, kids and work, I am fast realising that friendships do take work and they are so worth it! Tash

Link Within